Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life

I found a great little sign on Martha’s Vineyard this summer. It reads, “Don’t believe everything you think.” As a multi-tasking entrepreneur, I am definitely prone to being in my head too much, or as my yoga teacher wisely refers to it, my “monkey mind.” If we believed every thought that crossed our mind, or reacted to everything we think, most of us would surely live in a constant state of chaos and unhappiness.

One thing I now know for sure is that the quality of your thoughts and feelings will determine the caliber of your life in general. The universe will return your joy, confidence and happiness to you; and it will return your fear, anger and envy as well.

Think of yourself as a mini radio station. You are constantly broadcasting signals about yourself to the world. The people and situations that match those signals are the ones that will tune in and become a part of your life experience. Some refer to this as “chemistry”, but it’s actually the resonance of your own personal energy that has been created by your thoughts and feelings.

If you believe this to be true, then you begin to realize that there is no one to blame, no fingers to point and no more excuses. In terms of your personal and professional success – or lack of it – you are 100% in charge. The accountability, direction and outcome are completely up to you. Our own consciousness creates our reality. Your self-observations, whether positive or negative, become your present reality. In other words, you become what you think about most.

It’s important to be fully aware of what you are focusing on. If you find yourself focusing on the things you don’t want, such as a difficult boss, too much debt or no significant other in sight, you want to stop and immediately shift your thinking. Here are just a few tools that work for me:

• Take a ten minute walk outside. Breathe in the fresh air, remember all the things you have to be grateful for and give yourself a little bit of time and space to daydream about the things or situations you want in your life.
• Read through a list of positive affirmations. In fact, combine this with your walk and say the affirmations out loud at least half a dozen times. Don’t worry if they don’t feel real to you yet. Put the energy out there and allow the possibility to exist.
• Enlist a positive, enthusiastic friend as your “feel good” accomplice. Any time you find yourself down in the dumps and focusing on the negative, call her for a five minute pep talk. Let her remind you of not only how wonderful you are, but also of everything you have to be grateful for in your life.
• Assess your environment. Are you surrounded by clutter and things you don’t love? Take some time to clear your space and keep only those things that are most meaningful to you.
• Keep a gratitude journal. Spend five minutes a day writing down all of the things you are grateful for in your life. Any time you need a mind shift, spend a few minutes reading through your journal.
• Help someone less fortunate that you. Volunteer. Mentor. Spend a weekend at a pediatric cancer ward. Nothing will snap you out of feeling sorry for yourself faster than helping an at-risk teen or someone who only has a few months to live.

By transforming even one negative thought, you can make a major shift in your energy. As you continue to make these shifts within, you will notice that everything around you will begin to change. Your thoughts are the direct source of your emotional energy – your feelings – and can either be your greatest asset or your greatest obstacle to genuine happiness and success.

©Liz Dennery Sanders 2009

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My Accessories Opium for Fall ‘09

One of my favorite items  for the Fall 2009 season is the YSL easy handbag in a printed lizard gray suede. This bag is soft, subtle (read: no screaming logos) and goes with almost everything in my closet. It also has just enough strap to be worn on the shoulder when necessary. I found mine at Elyse Walker in the Pacific Palisades. Elyse also has the teal suede and black patent versions of this classic wardrobe enhancer, but she and I agreed that the gray suede was just my speed.

©Liz Dennery Sanders 2009

Just a few weeks after I purchased it,  I happened to be perusing a few images from the YSL collection and came across my easy bag in the most brilliant shade of red patent leather. And they had to call it Opium! A stunning, knock-em-dead red called Opium.  Oh mon dieu, I’m hooked.

I’m definitely one who believes in moderation, but I have been known to purchase multiples of things that I love – especially if there is a chance I won’t be able to get them again next season. And it is the most remarkable shade of brilliant red. I can think of a million and one ways to wear it; but for now I will continue to admire it from afar. Christmas is just around the corner, after all.

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If Loving Fashion Is A Crime…

Guilty as charged.

©Liz Dennery Sanders 2009

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50 Life Lessons

Cleveland Plain Dealer columnist, Regina Brett, wrote this on her 45th birthday, five years ago. Having just turned 50, she added an additional five gems. I have read this numerous times over the past five years,  and every time I see it I am reminded to slow down. I also realize that I should probably be reading it every single day. Enjoy!

Regina Brett’s 45 life lessons and 5 to grow on

To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.

It is the most-requested column I’ve ever written. My odometer rolls over to 50 this week, so here’s an update:

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.

16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.

17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.

18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.

19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: “In five years, will this matter?”

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

35. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

36. Growing old beats the alternative – dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.

38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

41. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

42. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

45. The best is yet to come.

46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

48. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.

49. Yield.

50. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

To reach this Plain Dealer columnist:

rbrett@plaind.com or  216-999-6328

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